No, I did not run out of money and take ads from “adult sites” for twelvefruits.com. I was talking with someone this weekend, who wondered why American computer science and mathematics (and related stuff like physics and statistics) men seem to date and marry Asian women in much higher proportions than the general population. The answer is pretty straightforward, though it takes a little explanation. Please note that this answer deals with GENERAL TRENDS, not specific cases. I am also not implying that everyone thinks this way, though there is at least one other comment on this subject.
- Geeky American males go through the American high school system, where intelligence is at best a neutral social factor. More often, it’s a social negative. Who stands at the top of the social chain? Athletes and rich kids and “bad boys”. One bitter perspective can be found at Ladder Theory (which uses profanity, be warned). Money and Power 50%, Attractiveness (Looks and Indifference) 40%, So-called Qualities 10%. The author is bitter, but there is at least some truth in the MTV age bracket, more than many would like to admit.
- A lot of the women in computer science and math are from China and Korea and Taiwan. Their social networks contain other Asian women. To find a partner, one has to meet or be introduced to a suitable match. Even if one doesn’t date within the program (not a bad idea), the women available in the sociogram are going to be friends of coworkers.
- Asian women have greater respect for intelligence and gentleness. I’m not sure if this is generally true, but compared to the American girls of high schools it definitely is. It seems to be true from my conversations with women in statistics, a small but representative sample. Additionally, compared to the traditional submissive expectations in large parts of Asia, United States society and US men are a big step up.
There you have it. A large part of marriage is like and respect of the partner. For both American mathy men, and Asian women in America, the opposite group is a good fit. So they come together. Problem solved. Now, I wish my dissertation was this easy.