So, a Jew, a Muslim, and Jesus get on a plane. The flight is on Ted, from O’Hare to Phoenix. Jesus has the middle seat, of course. About an hour in, the captain comes on the intercom to announce that they’re having problems. “It’s not terrorism, just mechanical failure. We’re trying to land in Topeka, but things don’t look good.” Immediately, the Muslim opens his Koran and starts reading. Jesus says, “You know, it’s really white grapes, right?” The Muslim just glares. The Jew mutters some prayers about fifth heaven. Jesus just sits there calmly, flipping through The Economist.
The passengers feel the descent accelerate. The captain makes another announcement, “Sorry folks, I don’t think we’re going to make it. You have a few minutes to prepare yourselves.” There’s screaming, crying, kissing, and so on. The Jew notices Jesus just sits there, reading. He asks, “Why are you so calm?” Jesus replies, “Well, it was a lot more painful the last time.”
Where did this come from? A few months ago, I was out at a bar with two friends. One had just been dumped by a guy, rather viciously. She was crying. After some hand holding, I was asked to tell a joke. I didn’t have anything on the top of my head, so the third person suggested the opening line above. This is (basically) what I came up with on the fly. Without the HTML links, of course. It’s not that bad, I think.