Mathematics After The Fall

Early this month, a female asked me who I found pretty. Of course, I replied her. I’m not stupid. She insisted on a more public figure. My first two responses were easy: Claudette Colbert in the Walls of Jericho scene of It Happened One Night, and Audrey Hepburn in the opening Princess scene of Roman Holiday. I just bought Roman Holiday at the store, on a $10 special. The clerk wondered if I had been inspired by the Gap window across the street. I was not; I refuse to link to the commercial because it saddens me.

My companion that day made me choose a living woman as well. This was more difficult, because I find elegance extremely attractive. Modern female movie and TV stars are under constant pressure to bare more, look wanton instead of refined. I chose someone I wish I would meet at an alumni event, Natalie Portman. She’s an oddity. This is a shame. One online review put it well, as things look different “in an era where Angelina Jolie would be half naked, tatted up and ready for danger”. There are lots of advantages to my classical beauties.

First, neither have an extreme figure. Claudette was very typical, 5′ 4 1/2″, 32 1/2 B - 25 - 34. Audrey was willowy at 5′ 7″, 34A - 20 - 34. Audrey was considered a woman’s size 6 or 8 in the 1950s, but would be about a 0 today. (Humorously, Jennifer Love Hewitt played Audrey in a biopic, and Ms. Hewitt has very different measurements. The movie had to adapt.) Natalie is 5′ 4″ and a little underweight from most reports, but not dangerously so. (It’s extremely impolite to give a living woman’s weight or size. Search the Internet if you really want to know.) In other words, a woman can be very attractive without being unhealthily thin, or overly busty, or saddled under a knife. Yes, there are natural gifts that make the ladies stunning; I won’t deny that, and not everyone can become fabulously handsome or winsome or whatever adjective one wants to use for “hot”. Say me. That said, it’s not necessary to be pneumatic or sickly. This is the main point.

Let me add something about the movies. Both movies are great, with really honorable parts that I enjoy. Both actresses won an Oscar. If I ever get around to listing my favorite movies, and why, they’ll both make my top 20. That will need to wait. I was just going to point out these women, but the Amazon page had a very insightful comment by Ms. Ivy Lin:

“The bickering-but-respectful relationship between Peter and Ellie is an interesting contrast to a film made 20 years later, Roman Holiday. Roman Holiday is a film with a similar storyline, but the gender politics have changed. Joe Bradley (Gregory Peck) has none of the eccentricity of Peter Warne (who’s shown chewing a carrot), but is the romantic knight in shining armor. Audrey Hepburn’s Princess is charming and doe-eyed, not brash and cheeky like Ellie.”

Even over 20 years, from the 30s to the 50s, the roles have gotten less complicated, more standardized, more Disneyfied. It’s gotten worse today. Could the intelligence and wit of Peter and Ellie be attempted? No. We get Wedding Crashers. Could the complications of Joe and the Princess be presented? No. Things would magically clean up without consequences like The Lion King. Movies have gotten stupider and courser. Do I need to refer to the top movie of this weekend?

Movies, to some extent, have always been about fantasy. There were and are very few women like Ellie Andrews. There were and are very few Princesses. These films are not reality. I know that. Instead, they offered an alternative of elegance and responsibility and madcap action. Now, the alternatives are M-Fing Snakes and Human Bait Fishing. I much rather prefer my fantasies and my fantasy women. Much.

It’s been exactly four years since I blogged a full day. That was another 9/11, 2002. It’s a good day to do it again.12:00 AM: I just finished putting chairs away. I hosted poker nightSaturday night, which brought 16 or so people to visit my new place. It’s so great to be able to host15-20 people, instead of 7; I can now host cool events. I opened up thewindow, and we waved at a couple of people peering in from the platform.Today, among other things, I had to empty the beer bottles; I don’t knowabout the recycling here so that will wait.I’m trying to clean up this draft paper I have on statistics education, so I can get it submitted this month. It’s one of my projects. CNN has this special, Footsteps of bin Laden. Christiane Amanpour and the CNN team did a lot of work.Osama’s less than 50 years old. His childhood was with a single mother.He watched Bruce Lee movies as a kid. He gave one press conference on May 26, 1998.1:20 AM: The high channels on cable just broke temporarily, and I canno longer see the interesting program. I have an 8 AM parking spot, so Ishould go to bed. To briefly explain, there is street parking in downtown Chicago. Most parking spaces are enforced Monday-Saturday; a few are Monday-Friday. The hours of enforcement depend on the space, even on the same block. On my block there are many 6 AM - 6 PM spaces, a couple of 7-7, and three 8-7. Timing is very important, as the Loop clears out at night. I came back from getting those chairs Saturday night at 5:30 and had to park four blocks away. At 8 PM parking was hard, but by 10 there were spaces. I drove people home after poker, and one of the 8 AM spots had become free. Yay me.11:20 AM: Got up at 7:40 and drove to Hyde Park. Parking is alwaysbad if one arrives after 7:30. Today is street cleaning day, so it’sworse. To simplify things I parked at the north corner, over a mile away, and took a bus onto campus. Did my workout, watching CNN on thecrosstrainer. I’m at 189 pounds this morning in gym clothes. That’s 86kilograms for my foreign readers. I really should get rid of the last 3-4 kilos on my stomach and get it flat, but I like cake a lot. Now I’manswering email and prioritizing. Flipping through ESPN, there’s a reflection from a son, an editor. I spend 2 minutes reading it. Now I’m off to talk to people.1:45 PM: Went to Mass then to Bartlett dining hall for lunch. Iwanted just a small salad and a few freedom fries, but they’re offering only all you can eat. So I ate much morefood - 2 sloppy joes, lots of fries, bigger salad, and apple juice. I’mprobably 87 kilos now. On the way back, I saw street sign banners for 50Years of SCRS, the counseling service on campus. Maybe it’s best for menot to make further comment.3:45 PM: I just finished my first listing of faculty opportunities.There are 15 listings now. There will be more, but now I need to narrowthis a little. Would I want to live in Greensboro, North Carolina, forinstance? That sort of thing matters.5:15 PM: Had a conversation with a friend, who feels that I’m notgentle and sweet enough. We had a serious argument over the Sermon on the Mount statement to turn the othercheek. I take the historical figurative interpretation, welldescribed in Walter Wink’sarticle. She thought that this was impossible, and I was twistingthings to suit my own needs, and could see only the nonresisting literalinterpretation. It is debatable, but it’s very frustrating to be accusedof useful invention. Nonviolent resistance is not easier thannonresistance; it’s harder. The temptation to dream of vengeanceconstantly lures me. The tightrope between compassion and justice makeswalking precarious. Yes, I do fail; I can be cold and harsh. The realproblem here is that the “God of justice” has been neutered by too manyProtestants.9:00 PM: Because of the timing, and a need to cool down, I drove backdowntown, and managed to grab a 7 AM slot. Yes, driving normally calmsme; I’m driving Lake Shore Drive in the reverse direction. I ate dinnerwhile watching football. There’s a lot of football on TV now. I like ita lot less than even a few years ago.10:25 PM: I should be revising my submission for the Journal ofStatistics Education. That said, Because I saw that new Buffy-canon comics are coming, post season 7, instead I’m looking at people’s 5 Best Buffy Episodes. I can think of The Gift, Innocence, Passion, and Becoming Part II easily. That’s four. There are great concept episodes, like Hush, The Body, and Once More With Feeling, but aren’t my favorites. Maybe Dopplegangland.11:45 PM: Into the doubleheader game now. I wish I could live in SanDiego. The Chargers are crushing the Raiders, too. Made a littleprogress today. And now it’s tomorrow. You might be wondering where my memories are. Why did I just blog aday? I didn’t have any 9/11 thoughts. That was the point. Things havechanged, not all for the better. Yet things still go on. Otherwise ther terrorists win. We remember thepeople, and the acts, and the heroes. We learn from them. And Icelebrate life a little more, every time I win the battle against death by waking up.

A side effect of the Lenten series was learning a lot about the basic signals of attraction. Because someone asked me for a primer, here it is. Remember, this doesn’t deal with long-term compatibility, or good relationships, or anything like that. It’s about the first glance, and the first conversation. Men and women have certain physical responses when they find someone physically attractive. Almost all of these reactions are quick, and you might miss them, so it’s important to watch. We’re very educational here at twelvefruits.

Immediate Physical Responses

1. Eyebrows raise, up and then within a half second back down. This causes the eyes to open and get a better view. This has been shown across cultures as a sign of attraction, but it’s tough to catch.
2. Pupils dilate, again to get a better view. This lasts a little longer than the eyebrow raise, making it easier to detect. This can also mean a change in light, particularly if someone is turning, so dilation can be for other reasons.
3. Nostril flare, physically to search for pheremones. It’s more common in females than males. It’s also difficult to misinterpret, because nostrils open only to search for smell, not that frequent an event. It’s also fairly hard to fake.
4. Lips open slightly, again an inviting and opening gesture.
5. Preening gestures. For men it’s often a tie or hair, sometimes a lapel or cuff - something near the face so it can be seen, but the idea is to look better. For a woman it’s most likely hair. Lips are usually planned.
6. Posture - men will try to look stronger or taller. Think cowboy, hands on hips. Women will giggle or tilt the head slightly, exposing neck.

Actions in conversation

Some of these responses are much stronger than others. Mirroring, the fifth point under “Both Sexes”, is powerful. Unlike the others, matching is generally subconscious and harder to fake. Of course, touch, and the progression of touch, is the best indicator.

Both sexes

• Showing less defensive body posture and open positions.
• Reducing distance.
• Leaning forward. Forward shows interest. Men will lean back to attempt to show power and dominance.
• Palms turned up and facing the other person. It’s harder to defend
  yourself with palms up, and it’s a more open position.
• Mirroring actions or positions. Both men and women feel more comfortable when their conversation partner is close to or matching the basic position. Going further, not only will partners match positions, they will match actions, like taking a drink at the same time.
• Actual physical touch. This is very cultural, though. In general, the warmer the home climate the more likely someone is to use touch
  non-sexually. Northern Europeans, Asians, and Americans will use
  friend-touch much less than Southern Europeans or Latinos. Arabs have lots of same-sex touch and no opposite-sex contact.

Men

• Playing with earlobes. Men use self touch less than women. When men do caress, the ear is common.
• Adjusting socks. This is a really strong costuming act, because small things like socks only matter when everything has to be correct.
• Standing tall, leaning against a wall, and showing good muscle tone.
• When sitting, spreading legs and exposing the crotch. There are other possibilities, depending on the chair/couch situation, but in general exposing the very sensitive area is a sign of interest and trust.

Women

• Self touching and slow caressing or rubbing. It’s an invitation. Exposed skin is more suggestive than clothing. The signal strengthens as the hands get closer to the breast.
• Stroking hair. This is NOT twirling or playing, which are signs of
  disinterest, particularly if playing while looking away. It’s slower and
  softer, usually while looking at the other.
• Head tilting, exposing the neck. Like men’s crotch, it’s a vulnerable portion of the body.
• Hip and chest jiggling. This one is tricky, because there are other
  reasons. Instead, it might be discomfort with clothes or shoes. Also, a
  highly energetic person will sway naturally. Large intentional movements
  are always come-ons, and for some women small shifts show energy, tension, and arousal.